Things I never thought I would say, but now have since becoming a parent.

“Why are there stickers on you butt?”

“It smells like farts in here”

“We don’t play with our vaginas in public”

“It’s called hair, not fur, and you’ll get it down there too one day”

“You can only sword fight with a person if they too have a sword”

“I’m concerned that you identify with Darth Vader and Kylo Ren”

“You have to tell me when you poop!”

“No, you can’t marry your brother”

“I don’t know why boys have nipples, actually”

“You have your own nipples, stop touching mine”

“Take your hand out of that dog’s mouth”

To be continued…